Not For the Meek
Wednesday, August 11, 2010

It has been said that you should write about what you know. These days, that seems to be a limiting rule for me as my knowledge continually decreases as the number of teenagers in my house increases.

Parenting teenagers is not for the weak, the timid or the meek. It is, hands down, the toughest job I have ever had. It is even tougher than parenting a newborn, living on less than two hours of sleep and changing diapers every few hours. Tougher than potty training a preschooler, becoming the tooth fairy and sending your child off to his first day of kindergarten.

On the job training seems to be the only way to learn how to parent teenagers. The problem is that as soon as you learn how to handle a specific situation, they change the rules, and they do not inform you.

I have not taken parenting teenagers lightheartedly. I have done my research. I have read numerous parenting books written by experts with tons of degrees and fantastic advice. But in the heat of the moment, the only thing that seems to work for me is throwing the parenting book at my teenagers and hoping it knocks some sense into them.

One thing that has helped my parenting self confidence to hang around other parents of teenagers. We understand the challenges, the look of desperation and hopelessness at times. We need to form a support group. We could meet weekly. I’ll bring the Starbucks.

I have talked to my mom about what I was like as a teenager. She remembers that my sister and I were easy to parent during those teenage years. Guess I was just very good at hiding things from her.

I do remember being a teenager. I remember being frustrated with my mom, thinking she did not understand me, that she had no comprehension of what my life was like and how difficult it was to be me.

When I first started dating, she set my curfew at ten o’clock. I remember coming home one night from a date ten minutes past curfew to find my mom standing behind the door with her hands on her hips and the angriest look I had ever seen on her face.

When I was a junior in high school, I was invited to go to Cedar Point with one of my girlfriends, her boyfriend and a boy they were setting me up with. My mom would not let me go. I could not understand that then. I get it now.

Now I am the mom of teenagers, and I am the ignorant-can’t-understand-a-thing mom. I guess I have to learn to live with that, and realize that maybe, someday, when my teens are in their twenties, my IQ may increase to normal levels.

It has been said that you should write about what you know. I would have written a column about parenting teenagers except that I am not sure I know anything about that except that I know enough to realize that I know very little.

Parenting teenagers is, hands down, the toughest job I have ever had. It’s not for the weak, the timid or the meek. This courageous mom is taking each day by faith knowing that I am earning a PhD in on the job training.

And I am going to the bookstore today to buy the largest, heaviest, hard cover parenting book I can find.

Catch up with Trish at www.TrishBerg.com

Posted by Trish Berg 7:34 AM  

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1 Comment:

  1. Helen Domer said...
    7:58 AM  
    Trish, I completely agree. It is going to be an interesting year as our girls enter high school. Hope we get through it together.

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