Sandpaper Moments
Wednesday, September 01, 2010

This column appears weekly in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News.

***********************************

I don’t like to be uncomfortable. I am, if you will, a comfort seeker. I like air conditioning in the summer and warm fireplaces in the winter. I am not a fan of camping and prefer a luxury hotel, though have survived camping with my family from time to time. I like warm, fuzzy slippers, soft, fleece sheets on my bed and for everyone in the world to like me.

But life is not that simple. And sometimes we are forced to face sand paper moments.

Sand paper moments are those times when we are uncomfortable in one way or another. Sand paper moments rub you the wrong way. When a friend says or does something the hurts your heart, when a family member ignores or offends you, or when you lose your job. They are rough to go through, like rubbing sand paper on your skin. And they hurt.

I have faced many sand paper moments in my life. I have been lied to, cheated on, betrayed and hurt by people who are supposed to love me. I have been let down, ignored and shut out. Mostly by people who are supposed to love me. People I trusted.

It has taken me a long time, over forty-one years, to realize that my life will most definitely include sand paper moments where I am stretched far beyond my capabilities of forgiveness and healing. When I can’t see the good in what is happening or why God allowed it to happen to me.

But each time I have faced a sand paper moment, I have survived. And maybe that’s what they are about. Maybe we can’t avoid them. We are not able to ignore them. And growing bitterness in our hearts only makes our soul sour.

Survival may be all we can do. Survive and allow the sand paper to rub against us not in a rough, painful way. But in a way that shapes and smooths our spirit.

Mike and I are in the process of refinishing our front porch. When we renovated our century old farmhouse in 1999, we had a new wrap-around porch built. We stained the floor and posts deep burgundy and loved it. We have spent a lot of time on our front porch, sitting on the rockers and swing, talking, laughing, and loving our children.

All that time and weathering has caused the porch floor to become dull and worn. So it is time to re-finish it. We began with the posts. Mike sanded and sanded until they were as smooth as silk. It took two coats of primer and two coats of paint to turn those burgundy posts into sparkling white posts. But they are done and they look beautiful.

Without sanding those posts, we would never have been able to transform them into what they are today. Their beauty would have been hidden by the scars and splinters that life left on them.

And I believe we are the same way.

God allows sand paper moments to happen to us so He can sand away the scars and splinters. He coats us with His primer of grace and He paints us with His love. Then He sends us out into the world to show off our shine.

Have no doubt-the sand paper moments will come into your life. But you can survive knowing that God will never stretch you beyond your capabilities of forgiveness and healing as He sands away at your soul….because nothing is beyond His.

Catch up with Trish at www.TrishBerg.com

Posted by Trish Berg 4:12 AM 0 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Of Mice and Water
Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Trish's column, Joy in the Journey, is published by Graphic Publications and appears in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News each week.

*****************************

There is nothing like finding something you don’t want to make you wish you had magic powers to get rid of it. Nothing like wanting something you don’t have to make you wish you could wish upon a star.

I want to apologize at the outset of this column to those of you with tender hearts or fragile sensitivities. The subject matter may offend you, and I want to say that I am sorry. But life does not always ask you to deal with what is pretty and perfect. Sometimes life tosses you a mess, and you must cope with what you have.

A couple of weeks ago, I traveled to my parents’ cottage on Johnson’s Island with my daughter, Sydney, and some of her girlfriends to celebrate her thirteenth birthday. Friday night we arrived late, settled in and ate popcorn while watching a movie. All seemed well.

Then Saturday morning, I awoke to discover mouse dirt (yes, I did say mouse dirt) on the kitchen counter, under the sink and in the cupboards. I was suddenly wishing I had brought my husband along for such a situation as he signed a deal in our marriage contract to handle all things I deem yucky.

We were not about to let a little mouse ruin our fun. So after breakfast, we packed a picnic and headed for the beach. I expected my girls to want to stay there most of the day. I mean, who could ask for more than sun, sand and water to splash around in? But they got hot. So after an hour and a half, we were heading for the shower house. Of course, getting six teenage girls showered and dressed took another hour and a half. Raegan did hair, Maddy did makeup and all primped and pretty, they looked like a million bucks!

We headed for downtown Marblehead and had a wonderful time bopping in and out of stores. They even ate a meal of samples at one boutique: pretzels, dip, soup and tea, with fudge for dessert. Then they each bought a bling-bling bobby pin thanks to Molly starting the trend. (You know girls..)

And then there was Megan, who wanted something “tragic” to happen. I am not a teen-to-adult-translator, but I’m pretty sure “tragic” meant “awesome,” though it’s clearly not “cool” to say “awesome” any longer.

Well, tragedy was about to hit in more ways than one.

We returned to the cottage to discover that, unbeknownst to us, a toilet had been left running all day long, and we were suddenly without water. (Island homes have tank water, and when the tank is empty, no water until it is refilled.) After a few calls, we discovered that water-guy could not come to re-fill the tank until morning. We were left water-less, toilet-less and frustrated.

So we decided to make potty runs every two hours to the beach shower-house. And thanks to those potty runs, the girls got to swim at the beach at ten at night, something I have never done before.

If I would have had a magic wand, I would have eliminated the mouse and filled the water tank with a swish and swirl of my hand. Instead, I discovered that joy is not found in your circumstances.

And that “tragic” can be fun if only you have the right attitude.

Catch up with Trish at www.TrishBerg.com

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 0 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Fashioning My LIfe
Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I spent the day cleaning out my closet. It was time. There are things in my closet that I have not worn in years. Outfits that don’t even fit me anymore (never mind why). My closet is full of outdated styles, hand-me-down fodder and things I had forgotten I even had.

I found some unique things in there, things I should have gotten rid of a long time ago. I began by pulling everything out and dumping it all in a pile on my bed. Then one at a time, I looked over each piece and decided which pile it should go in.

One pile was the keeper-pile. Clothing that is in style, fits me, and looks great on. The second pile the give-away pile. Clothing that no longer fits me but can bless someone else. And finally, the third pile is the throw-away pile. Clothing that has seen better days and simply needs to be thrown out.

One by one, I evaluated each outfit and tossed it in the appropriate pile. But as I sorted through my closet, my mind began to wander over my other closet – my heart.

My heart is the closet of my life. Where I store every bit of emotion that guides me daily. I started to realize that my heart was as cluttered as my closet and it was time to clean it out.

As I searched my heart, I found some bitterness, way out-dated; towards people I had thought I had forgiven a long time ago. I am not sure that bitterness even fits me anymore, yet I keep it in my heart just in case I feel like wearing it out on a lonely, rainy day when I want to feel sorry for myself.

I also found some anger in there, long since outdated. Anger for things that had been done to me, times I was left out, towards people I no longer see.

Way in the back corner of my heart was some hand-me-down insecurity that I inherited from my dad from my little-girl years when his words and lack of acceptance hurt me to the core. Those insecurities don’t even fit me anymore.

There was much more in there, far too many outfits to mention. I decided it was time to clean out my heart and make room for the new outfits in my life, the ones that fit my soul and make me who I want to become.

So I sat down and unpacked my heart, I pulled out everything that was in there and tossed it into one massive pile. As I went though each emotion one by one, I looked over each piece and decided which pile it should go in.

One pile was the keeper pile. These are the emotions I want to keep, feelings I want to live my life wearing. Things like faith, love, joy and hope. These outfits never go out of style and always fit perfectly (no matter how much weight you might have gained).

The second pile is the give-away pile. These are the outfits I need to give away to those in my life because they may not fit me perfectly but they can bless someone else. Things like forgiveness, acceptance and encouragement.

And finally, the third pile is the throw-away pile. These are the outfits that have been cluttering my heart in the deepest corners. Things that have seen better days and simply need to be thrown out. Things like bitterness, anger and insecurity.

I spent the day cleaning out my closet and ended up cleaning out my heart. Now they are both full of styles that will fashion my life.


Catch up with Trish at www.TrishBerg.com

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 0 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

And So It Goes
Wednesday, August 11, 2010

There are thirteen days, four hours and twenty-six minutes until summer ends and school start, in case you were keeping track. Now, don’t get depressed. I am getting depressed enough for the both of us. Back to school time already? How can that be? Where did the summer go?

I had such plans. There were so many things I wanted to do this summer. I wanted to relax and just hang out with my family. Have campfires and catch lightening bugs. I was going to try and make homemade popsicles and the melons I planted in my garden have not been harvested yet.

I was planning on getting the porch painted and the attic cleaned out this summer, neither of which has been accomplished. I wanted to read books with my children sleep out in the tent in the yard and spend time with friends.

And here we are thinking about back to school shopping for pencils, paper and notebooks yet again.

I think time moves faster when summer comes around. Let’s face it. January rolls by like an elephant in quicksand. But summer…summer rolls by like a Cheetah on a roller skates going downhill.

Sorry for the zoo animal analogies, but were supposed to make a trip to the zoo this summer, and that never happened either. Guess the guilt has given me zoo-brain.

No matter how much I may want to, I can’t turn back the clock. I can’t relive my summer and get everything done that I wanted to. I can’t go back and get it right. I wish I could. I would take you with me and we could re-live summer and take the time to truly enjoy ourselves.

Instead, here we are, in the middle of August, on the verge of the first day of school with a to-do list bouncing around in our heads. How many spiral bound notebooks, pencils, crayons and backpacks do we need this year? Who needs new tennis shoes? Who needs a new lunch box?

As a child, I dreaded the back to school rush. I hated feeling pushed with schedules and practices, homework and hassles. As a mom, I feel the same way. With back to school time comes all the ink on our calendars that keep us as busy as the day is long.

Well, maybe it’s time to get back to school. I guess we have done some great things this summer. We traveled with the kiddos to Maine. We visited with friends at Lake Erie and spent hot days at the beach swimming and jumping in the waves. We have had a campfire or two. I have spent time sitting on our porch swing sipping iced tea and talking to someone I love.

I guess it’s just never enough. Never enough time. Never enough summer.

And so it goes. Life does not slow down so we can get it right. We have to do our best with what we have in the moment we are living. No looking back. No regrets.

I would like to inform you that since you have taken the time to read my column, you only have thirteen days. Four hours and sixteen minutes until summer ends.

So take a deep breath, let go of your to-do list and enjoy what you have today whatever that is.

And if you choose to live in the moment, you’ve got plenty of time to make homemade popsicles, pick some melon out of your garden or catch a lightening bug or two.

Catch up with Trish at www.TrishBerg.com

Posted by Trish Berg 7:36 AM 1 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Not For the Meek

It has been said that you should write about what you know. These days, that seems to be a limiting rule for me as my knowledge continually decreases as the number of teenagers in my house increases.

Parenting teenagers is not for the weak, the timid or the meek. It is, hands down, the toughest job I have ever had. It is even tougher than parenting a newborn, living on less than two hours of sleep and changing diapers every few hours. Tougher than potty training a preschooler, becoming the tooth fairy and sending your child off to his first day of kindergarten.

On the job training seems to be the only way to learn how to parent teenagers. The problem is that as soon as you learn how to handle a specific situation, they change the rules, and they do not inform you.

I have not taken parenting teenagers lightheartedly. I have done my research. I have read numerous parenting books written by experts with tons of degrees and fantastic advice. But in the heat of the moment, the only thing that seems to work for me is throwing the parenting book at my teenagers and hoping it knocks some sense into them.

One thing that has helped my parenting self confidence to hang around other parents of teenagers. We understand the challenges, the look of desperation and hopelessness at times. We need to form a support group. We could meet weekly. I’ll bring the Starbucks.

I have talked to my mom about what I was like as a teenager. She remembers that my sister and I were easy to parent during those teenage years. Guess I was just very good at hiding things from her.

I do remember being a teenager. I remember being frustrated with my mom, thinking she did not understand me, that she had no comprehension of what my life was like and how difficult it was to be me.

When I first started dating, she set my curfew at ten o’clock. I remember coming home one night from a date ten minutes past curfew to find my mom standing behind the door with her hands on her hips and the angriest look I had ever seen on her face.

When I was a junior in high school, I was invited to go to Cedar Point with one of my girlfriends, her boyfriend and a boy they were setting me up with. My mom would not let me go. I could not understand that then. I get it now.

Now I am the mom of teenagers, and I am the ignorant-can’t-understand-a-thing mom. I guess I have to learn to live with that, and realize that maybe, someday, when my teens are in their twenties, my IQ may increase to normal levels.

It has been said that you should write about what you know. I would have written a column about parenting teenagers except that I am not sure I know anything about that except that I know enough to realize that I know very little.

Parenting teenagers is, hands down, the toughest job I have ever had. It’s not for the weak, the timid or the meek. This courageous mom is taking each day by faith knowing that I am earning a PhD in on the job training.

And I am going to the bookstore today to buy the largest, heaviest, hard cover parenting book I can find.

Catch up with Trish at www.TrishBerg.com

Posted by Trish Berg 7:34 AM 1 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Joy in the Journey - Silly Band-Itis
Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Joy in the Journey is published by Graphic Publications and appears in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News each week.

**************************************

Sometimes things just don’t make sense. Take, for instance, pet rocks. I know this dates me, but I remember a time when pet rocks were a huge deal. As a little girl I had a Mrs. Beasely doll whom I loved and adored. She had eye glasses and gray hair, a polka dot dress and a smile.

Then there were Cabbage Patch dolls, the ugliest dolls in history with squashed faces and scrunched noses. I never got into those. And of course, as a mom, I have survived the Tickle Me Elmo Craze and the Wii Phase.


And now, I am in the midst of silly band-itis.


If you do not yet know what silly bands are, count yourself as one of the lucky ones.


They are, in fact, a truly simple invention that has made someone somewhere a boatload of money. They are colored rubber bands that form a specific shape when not on your wrist. Some even glow in the dark.


They come in sets. You can buy animal sets, with dogs, cats, bunnies and zebras. You can get sports sets, including baseball bats, ball gloves and hockey sticks. You can even find Christian sets with crosses, Bibles, angels and doves.


I have heard of wearing your heart of your sleeve, this is like wearing your life on your wrist. Whatever you like to do, whatever you want to be known for, I am sure they make a silly band set just for you.


But I think they might be missing something. Silly bands seem to only be targeted for kids. What about grown ups?


Remember in the Christmas movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, when George Bailey’s uncle, the forgetful one, keeps tying strings on his fingers so he might remember what it is he is supposed to remember.


Well, imagine what we could do with silly bands.


I could get the mom set, including silly bands in the shape of an alarm clock, a minivan, a grocery bag, a vacuum cleaner and a laundry basket.


I could get the working set including a desk, date book, a computer monitor, an iPad and Venti iced peppermint mocha from Starbucks with whip cream and a drizzle of chocolate syrup.


The yard work set might include a lawn mower, garden hoe, weed wacker, flowers and yes, even weeds to pull.


Oh, the sets we could create.


And, you could mix and match your grown up silly bands to (wait for it) remember to get done what you need to get done. I can wear everything on my to-do list on my wrist, and the crucial things could even glow in the dark. Just imagine the possibilities.


So on a busy day, I could get up (only because I have the alarm clock silly band on my wrist), wash a load of laundry or two, carpool my daughter to basketball practice and stop at the grocery store on my way home.


A quick drive through Starbucks, a trip to the office to work for an hour, and home to face the weeds in my garden.


Ok, so it may not be perfect, but I would be fun.


Yep, I think I have caught silly band-itis. Stay back; don’t get too close to the newspaper because it might be contagious.


Catch up with Trish at www.TrishBerg.com. Follow her on Twitter, or become her Facebook friend.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 3 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Joy in the Journey - Love in My Inbox
Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Joy in the Journey is published by Graphic Publications and appears in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News each week.


*****************************************

I sometimes find love in my inbox. Love in the form of emails waiting there for me to read. Love because someone, somewhere cared enough to email me something.

Granted, many of my emails are junk emails from Lands End, Verizon Wireless or a forward telling me to send the message onto ten people or bad things will happen to me.

Yet, when I log on to find stacks of emails, I smile and think quietly and privately to myself, “They love me!” as if receiving emails makes me feel loved and wanted.

It does. At least temporarily. And though it doesn’t make sense logically in the light of day, when my inbox is full, I feel good about myself.

I guess I want the world love me. I know, quite impossible, you must be thinking. I agree. Yet I keep on trying to be loveable to the world. And, as most people-pleasers do (back me up out there) I tend to measure my worth by how the world sees me and how the world loves me, clearly reflected in my full inbox.

But I have also lived long enough to know the world does not always love me, and that’s when I can crumble in to tiny bits of myself and lose sight of who I truly am.

But, there are advantages to getting older. I have grown more comfortable in my own skin, even though I wish it were two sizes smaller. And the world’s acceptance and love has become less important to me.

I have grown up, I guess. But inside I am still the same.

I am still the same independent ten-year-old girl who rode her bike on Fitch rode to play softball. The same stubborn thirteen-year-old girl who never gave up training for the community track meet.

The same broken sixteen-year-old girl who fell apart when her friends played a cruel joke on her at school. The same outgoing eighteen-year-old who went out of state to college and the same insecure nineteen-year-old girl who got homesick and moved back home.

Now, in the midst of middle age, I have accepted who I am, inside and out, and the reality that there are people in this world who do not love me. They probably don’t even like me very much. And that’s Ok.

My worth does not come from my inbox, not from the people around me, those I know and those I don’t yet know.

My worth comes from God. He sees me from the inside out, knows all my deepest, darkest secrets in the far depths of who I am.

And He loves me from the outside in, even with all of my imperfections.

When the world does not love me, and when I don’t even love myself very much, there is no reason to crumble in to tiny bits of myself because I am loveable…to God.

Though I may think I have found love in my inbox, I am only kidding myself. I have never felt a hug or kiss through email. Never found my worth there.

So I guess I will just live this perfectly imperfect life as a perfectly imperfect person who has learned to be comfortable in her own skin.

Even though I wish it were two sizes smaller.

Catch up with Trish at www.TrishBerg.com. Follow her on Twitter, or become her Facebook friend.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 1 comments    

Labels: Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Joy in the Journey - Gone on a Purse Diet
Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Joy in the Journey is published by Graphic Publications and appears in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News each week.  

*****************************

I have made a change in my life. It may not seem like a big change to some of you. But to those of you who get it, who understand the catastrophic alterations this change involves, you will understand how my life will never be the same.


I have gone on a purse diet.


For a number of years, my purse seems to have gotten bigger and bigger. I think it all began when I became a mom. I got used to toting around a diaper bag, and to stuffing just about everything I needed into the diaper bag. And it could all fit because it was so large and roomy. So for a decade or so, I carried a small-ish size purse with a very large diaper bag on the side, and life was good.


Then, the need for the diaper bag dwindled as my youngest outgrew wearing diapers, needing sippy cups, pull-ups or toys. So like metamorphosis, the diaper bag size seemed to absorb into my purse size, and my purse was suddenly the size of a small Volkswagen Beetle Bug.


It wasn’t a big deal as I have big shoulders. And my theory was that a larger purse surely made my rear end appear to be smaller than it actually was. A definite bonus. And it was handy. I carried my entire makeup bag in my purse, along with a nail file kit, full-size hairbrush, eye glass and sun glass case. All of that on top of perfume, and the typical wallet stuffed to its seams.


Last summer, I bought a neat fabric purse at a beach store in Marblehead. The store owner called it an “overnight bag,” but I didn’t care. It was my purse. Then, last Christmas, I traded up for an even larger purse on clearance at Kohl’s. It was large enough to carry everything I needed plus a laptop computer, and maybe a kitchen sink.


But when the purse strap snapped last week for no reason at all, it forced me to take an honest look at my purse evolution. The reality was that my purse had gotten fat.


So last week, I went on a purse diet. I bought a much, much smaller purse, one that only fits my wallet, eyeglasses and lip gloss, without room for anything else in my life. It has been a struggle. Now I have to plan ahead, get up early enough to put my makeup on at home not rely on last minute solutions stuffed in my purse.


My new, smaller purse is cute. Its soft leather, summer yellow look is almost like carrying a smile on my shoulder. And so far, I have been able to resist stuffing it to its seams.


And though going on a purse diet may not seem like a life altering change to some of you, the rest of you that “get it” will fully understand the catastrophic alterations I have now made in my life. This purse diet thing seems to be working, and it was a whole lot easier than a real diet. I can easily lose twenty pounds of purse weight long before weight off my hips or thighs.


And, the best part is that my new, smaller purse is still big enough to pack a bag of M & M’s, and that makes me smile most of all!


LAST CHANCE to come hear Trish speak at the Image of God Women's Conference July 16-17th in Bay Village; tickets at http://www.imageofgod.org/.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 2 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Joy in the Journey - The Road Less Traveled
Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Joy in the Journey is published by Graphic Publications and appears in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News each week.
**************************There is a famous poem by Robert Frost titled, The Road Not Taken, where he describes two roads diverging in the woods and his choice to take the one less traveled. As a mom, I live on the road less traveled most days, and I struggle to figure things out as I take each step.


But last month, Mike and I turned onto a brand new road, one that we had never taken before in our adult lives, and it has made a difference for sure.


We took a family vacation, a road trip to the eastern part of the United States. Two whole weeks on the road, in a minivan, with four children crammed into the back and a whole lot of patience crammed into our hearts.


We did make plans, for though I may love poetry, I also know the value of planning. So we booked all of our hotels ahead of time, and mapped out our path day to day. But we also left a lot of room to make last minute changes, for that is where adventure lives.


We began at Niagara Falls. We walked all around the American side in the national park, and ended up on a life changing bridge. We emerged from the woods onto a bridge with no rails and only a knee high edge with rushing water only four feet below. A slip or trip, or child leaning over and falling in was certain death as the falls were only fifteen feet ahead. I have never seen Mike grab a hold of his children with such strength as we crossed that bridge, and we were both thankful when that was over.


We traveled to Lake Placid, New York, and spent time in the beautiful, quaint city shopping and exploring. We meandered into the Olympic Center and ended up with an official tour in the ice rink where The Miracle on Ice (US beat Russia) took place in 1980. I was sure I could hear the cheering ringing in the rafters.


We traveled through Vermont and New Hampshire, road across Lake Champlain on a boat and drove through so many mountain ranges I lost count. We picnicked in the White, Adirondack, Appalachian, and Cadillac Mountains. Mike and our three older children hiked to the top of South Bubble Mountain in Acadia National Park and that was a huge accomplishment!


We stayed in Bar Harbor, Maine, for a few days and spent time meeting the locals and eating the seafood. We met Ollie (former owner of Ollie’s Trollies there) who is the Jimmy Buffet of Bar Harbor. We watched the sunset from the harbor, went to the whale museum and ate at Geddy’s. At low tide, we walked across the sand bar to Bar Island and collected sea shells and crab heads (don’t ask).


We also collected about fifty pounds of sea shells at Old Orchard Beach and found three life changing sand dollars that restored in me the persistence and power of prayer. And every step of the way, we felt blessed for having ventured out.


As a mom, it may feel like I live on the road less traveled most days, but to take each step with joy, no matter what lies ahead on the path, now that is living.


Oh, how I do love Frost: “I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less t raveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

****************************
Come hear Trish speak at the Image of God Women's Conference July 16-17th, tickets at http://www.itickets.com/  or http://www.trishberg.com/.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 2 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Joy in the Journey - The Gift of Receiving
Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Joy in the Journey is published by Graphic Publications and appears in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News each week.


*************************

It has been said that it is easier to give than to receive, and I have lived long enough to know that the real gift is the receiving part. The giving is easy. The receiving, well that’s a whole other story.


When I was a young mom with babies and toddlers biting my ankles, I used to swap baby-sitting with a few friends. But anytime they babysat my brood, I hurried to find a time when I could return the favor by having their kids over so I could relieve my guilt and put myself back on the giving end.


We went on vacation one summer a few years back, and friends of ours remodeled our bedroom while we were gone. They gave it a fresh coat of paint, new bedding and a new lamp. I felt guilty for months about not being able to give back, so I sent them a huge box of gourmet cheesecake.


Another time, we had a power outage that lasted a week and another family invited us to live with them until our power came back on. Talk about the burden of receiving that gift!


It’s sad that I have to see some kind of balance between my giving and receiving so that I can let go of the guilt of receiving. If only I could get to the place where I could give the gift of receiving as easily as I give the gift of giving.


I say all of this so you know that I know about giving and receiving. I have seen it. I have lived it. Both sides. And I know that the true gift is not in the giving, but in the receiving.


Last week, we spent some time on the giving end, and once again, I was blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Dear friends of ours needed some help to chainsaw a tree that had fallen in their yard and with some basic yard work. So a group of us headed over for the day. We had an amazing day working and laughing.


And at the end of the day, when I took my not-so-young-and-very-sore-and-tired-bones home to shower and rest, I was goose-bumped with joy from the inside out.


I love being the giver. It’s easy to be the giver. It feels great to be the giver.


But I think we all need to learn how to be better receivers, to give the gift of allowing someone to help us out. Let them give to us. Let them walk away with the goose-bumped-joy feeling once in a while.


Which is why I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to our sweet friends for allowing us to be the givers this time around. You know who you are. Thank you for giving us the gift of receiving, allowing us to give something small to you that felt grand to us.


It has been said that it is easier to give than to receive, and I have lived long enough to know that truer words have never been spoken.


Come hear Trish speak at the Image of God Women's Conference in Bay Village, Ohio. The events is hosted by Praise-Apella, featuring Inspirational Female Vocalist of the Year, Tammy Trent and 95.5 The Fish’s own Brooke Taylor. To purchase tickets or for more information, go to www.iTickets.com or www.TrishBerg.com.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 1 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Joy in the Journey - What Defines Me
Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Joy in the Journey is published by Graphic Publications and appears in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News each week.


****************************************

I seem to be going through some changes these days. Call it a mid-life crisis, but it has made me ponder what defines me. It’s an odd place to be-in the midst of middle age, wondering who I am and how the world sees me. And how I see myself.


When I was younger, I was Patty. Yes, I grew up as Patty. My mom always called me Trish, but the rest of the world called me Patty. Then I met Mike in college, and he started to call me Trish, and well, that changed who I was. Trish is a different person than Patty was. Patty was young, a little reckless and a little naïve. Trish was someone who found her way in the world as a grown up.


I finished college, got married and started graduate school. Back then, I seemed to be defined by what I did. I worked in marketing and my job was all I had time for and it became intertwined with the rest of my life.


Mike and I decided to move to his family farm, and suddenly who I was changed again. I had grown up in the suburbs of Cleveland, and now I was a farm girl with cows outside of my family room window. How is that possible?


Then my life changed drastically when our first child was born. I was suddenly “mom” which defined every aspect of my life. For the next twelve years, I was a stay-at-home mom defined by my four children, spending most of my time meeting their needs. I was pregnant or nursing for a lot of those mommy-years and everything I did fit around being a mom.


During those mommy-years, I began writing and speaking, which again, began to define me. I lived and died with each book contract, published magazine article or rejection letter. Every time I published something it reinforced me as a “writer.” When I booked large events, I let the audience’s reaction and applause define me.


Now, I have a teenagers and tweens afoot, and even motherhood is a moving target. And now, God has opened a teaching door for me at Malone, and my life is changing again.


Am I a wife? Mom? Writer? Teacher? Who am I?


It’s an odd place to be. In the midst of middle age, wondering who I am now. Like I said, a mid-life crisis at its best.


Then, driving down the road the other day, as I was pondering my life in the scheme of the universe (which is what red lights are for), I finally figured this whole thing out.


I have been getting it all wrong. For forty-one years, I have been wrong.


You see, I am not defined by what I do or where I go. I am not defined by titles, careers or even people. I am defined by two simple things.


One. I belong to Jesus, created to be in relationship with Him and reflect His love to the world.


Two. I am defined by how I love the people around me; not just the loveables, but everyone God brings into my life.


It really is that simple. I don’t always get it right, but I do try.


No matter where I go or what I do, as long as I remember what defines me, everything else will fit perfectly into my life.


Change…I say bring it on!


Come hear Trish speak at the Image of God Women's Conference in Bay Village, Ohio. The events is hosted by Praise-Apella, featuring Inspirational Female Vocalist of the Year, Tammy Trent and 95.5 The Fish’s own Brooke Taylor. To purchase tickets or for more information, go to www.iTickets.com or www.TrishBerg.com.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:08 AM 3 comments    

Labels: Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Joy in the Journey-The Mystery of the Missing Remote Control
Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Joy in the Journey is published by Graphic Publications and appears in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News each week.

*******************************

Well, the TV remote control is missing again. I have turned over every couch and loveseat, chair and end table in the family room. I have pulled off the cushions only to find Nutri-grain bar wrappers and Goldfish cracker crumbs. I have even dumped out the piles and piles of DVD’s in the TV cabinet only to find dust bunnies.

I have been spending some time wondering what in the world could have happened to the missing remote control and I have established several theories.

Theory One. An alien landed in our backyard in the middle of the night, snuck into the house with his tele-transportation techniques and stole the remote control. Maybe he is using it to fix his space ship or dissecting it to figure out why humans spend so many hours watching television. Or maybe he just needed a couple of double A batteries in order to charge his ship to get back home.

Theory Two. The cat hid the remote control to torture me. Sophia the cat is quite the princess, and quite cunning. Maybe she decided to have some fun and hid the remote control in some unknown location only a cat can get to. I have seen her smiling at me and I think she even winked her eye yesterday, mocking me.

Theory Three. My children broke the remote control and threw it away to hide the evidence. I know, from experience, they will do anything to get out of trouble. What they don’t realize is that we always find out what they have done, and in the end, they end up in more trouble than they would have been by just speaking the truth.

Theory Four. A burglar broke into our house when none of use were home and stole the remote control. We all know how valuable the TV remote control is, more valuable than gold to someone who wants to sit down on the couch and flip through the Direct TV channels, tuning out life. Or surf the guide channel for hours never finding anything worth watching.

Maybe a bird flew in an open window and ate the remote. Maybe it fell into a black hole or Big Foot took it. I have no idea where the remote control is, and it is driving me crazy! I hate it when I lose things, and yet I lose things all the time.

I have no idea what happened to our TV remote control, but I do know that life is too short to worry about it anymore. It is where it is, and I am where I am. Move one, Trish, move one.

Life is too short to spend any more time searching for the remote control or stressing about where it might be.

Maybe losing the remote control is a good thing. Maybe it’s time to turn the TV off and tune back into life. Stop worrying about what time American Idol or Law and Order is on and more time talking to my husband and kiddos.

Maybe losing the remote is a blessing in disguise…or maybe I should just buy a new remote control.

Come hear Trish speak at the Image of God Women's Conference in Bay Village, Ohio. The events is hosted by Praise-Apella and also featuring Inspirational Female Vocalist of the Year, Tammy Trent and 95.5 The Fish’s own Brooke Taylor. To purchase tickets or for more information, go to www.TrishBerg.com or www.iTickets.com.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 0 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Book Review - Life in Spite of Me
Wednesday, May 19, 2010

If you are looking for some true encouragement, try reading Life In Spte of Me by Kristen Jane Anderson with Tricia Goyer.

I have known Tricia Goyer as a fellow author for a few years, and have been utterly blessed and encouragd by each of her books.

Life in Spite of Me is the story of Anderson's life, shared with co-author Tricia Goyer, and you won't be able to put it down.

Here's more....

ABOUT THE BOOK

She wanted to die. God had other plans.



Why does my life have to be so painful?


What’s wrong with me?


It’s not going to get better.


It could all be over soon, and then I won’t hurt anymore.
Kristen Anderson thought she had the picture-perfect life until strokes of gray dimmed her outlook: three friends and her grandmother died within two years. Still reeling from these losses, she was raped by a friend she thought she could trust. She soon spiraled into a seemingly bottomless depression.




But Kristen's story doesn’t end there.




Her gripping story of finding joy against all odds provides a vivid and unforgettable reminder that life is a gift to be treasured.


Includes notes of encouragement Kristen wishes she had received when she was struggling most.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
 
Using her own experiences as a teen mother, and leader of today’s generation, Tricia’s vision is to be a voice of hope and possibility for teenage girls, pregnant teen girls, mothers and wives through her educational and inspirational speaking, workshops and books. Her intention is to serve ordinary women by encouraging extraordinary things with God’s help. Tricia expresses real life, real hope, for real women.





In her fiction novels, Tricia writes contemporary and historical stories that feature strong women overcoming great challenges. She recreates historic wartime eras with precise detail through perseverant and comprehensive research.


Each of her World War II and Spanish Civil War novels tell the inspiring stories of engaging characters—and a God whose hand is evident in the landscape of history and the obstacles of ordinary lives.


Tricia speaks to groups interested in these eras, with the intention of preserving and honoring the memory of the men and women who served.


She also speaks and conducts workshops for teens around the nation, and offers programs to assist teens and teen moms. Tricia is a frequent workshop presenter at the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International Convention, and the founder of Hope Pregnancy Ministries in Northwestern Montana.


In 2010, she was selected as one of the Top 20 Moms To Follow on Twitter by SheKnows.com. Tricia also writes as the Little Rock Christian Fiction Examiner for Examiner.com.


To book Tricia for an interview or speaking engagement, contact Natalie Godshall


For more information about Tricia's speaking topics, visit her Speaking page, or visit her Press Kit page to download a media/speaker Kit

Posted by Trish Berg 9:10 PM 0 comments    

Labels: Book Reviews

Joy in the Journey - The Ministry of Mediocrity
Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Joy in the Journey is a syndicated column published by Graphic Publications, appearing in The Bargain Hunter and Wooster Weekly News.


**********************************

I put a lot of pressure on myself. I’m a woman and a mom, and I think it kinda goes with the territory. I look at every woman out there in the world, and compare myself to her, and I usually end up on the short end of the stick. I look at her and she is prettier than I am, thinner, with better hair and longer legs. She has nicer clothes, better jewelry, drives a better car and her children actually listen to her. Her husband adores her more than mine, and her house is always clean and perfect, ready for a photo shoot form Better homes and Gardens.


It doesn’t really matter who she is, she is always better than me in my own head. I would bet that you suffer from the same case of comparisonitis, and be careful, because it’s contagious.

So what do we do? Well, since we come up on the short end of the stick, we who suffer from comparisonitis spend a whole lot of time, energy and money trying to hide our flaws, cover up our insecurities and look a whole lot better than we really are. We commit ourselves to living a fake sort of life. All perfect on the outside and all messed up on the inside.

But here’s the thing. I am convinced we are all suffering from comparisonitis, and so together, we have a cure. All we need to do is to be real with each other, let down that brick wall hiding all our flaws and become transparent with the women around us.

That’s where the ministry of mediocrity comes in. I am convinced being mediocre is a ministry, and I am really good at it (in case you weren’t aware). Let me start by explaining how not shaving your legs is a ministry to the women around you.

Now I have your interest, right?

Picture a hot summer day and a picnic at the park. You go to put your shorts on, and realize that you did not shave your legs. No time to fix that now, so you head out and hope for the best. At the park, when you notice that your girlfriend has the same sharp, stubble on her legs, you think to yourself, “Thank the Lord, me, too!” and are grateful for not being alone in the stubbly leg department. You suddenly feel better about yourself, just because your friend did not shave her legs.

Either way, not shaving your legs, or rather being real and transparent, is a ministry to those women around you. It’s the ministry of mediocrity, and we can all play along. And, hold onto your hat, it goes so much deeper than hairy legs.

When you go to a girlfriend’s house and it looks perfect, you go home to your own cluttered, lived in home feeling lousy. So do your girlfriend’s a favor and have them over for lunch and leave the dirty dishes in the sink, the crumbs on the floor and the laundry piled hither and yon. They will go home feeling so much better about their own cluttered homes.

Get with it. Be real. If we all start living transparently, we can all take the pressure off and relax. Take a deep breath. You can do this! Let’s start a ministry of mediocrity trend in our own lives!

And once we do that, we will all feel so much better. Ahhhhh….

But first things first – go shave those legs! I can feel the stubble from here!

**************************************
Come hear Trish speak at the Image of God Women's Conference in Bay Village, Ohio. The events is hosted by Praise-Apella and also featuring Inspirational Female Vocalist of the Year, Tammy Trent and 95.5 The Fish’s own Brooke Taylor. To purchase tickets or for more information, go to www.TrishBerg.com or www.iTickets.com.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 1 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News

Joy in the Journey - Around the World in 3 Days
Tuesday, May 11, 2010

We made the long walk uphill to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The guards were so impressive, and our kids seemed to take it very seriously, which was nice to see. We watched the changing of the guard and witnessed the air force do a missing man formation fly over which was utterly moving.

On day two, we started out at eight in the morning and didn’t return to the hotel until ten thirty that night. In-between, we walked and walked. We saw the White House from the outside, toured two of the Smithsonian museums and walked solemnly through the Holocaust Museum.

That evening we ate supper at The Hard Rock Café and toured all the monuments when they were all lit up with glowing lights that contrasted with the dark night sky. It was beautiful.

And on day three, I humiliated myself by falling flat on my rear in the breakfast nook. I scooched over to get up from my table, as if I were sitting on a bench, only to realize that I was sitting on a chair and the floor broke my fall. I got over it, and everyone had a good laugh.

Then we headed for home completely exhausted and utterly blessed. We saw so much on this whirlwind tour I can hardly imagine what the kids will remember years from now. But I think I know.

I think they will remember the laughter and the joy. They took so many pictures at every building and monument, and had so much fun just being together in a big city.

I think they will remember seeing the best our nation has to offer, the honor with which the guards protect the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, the monuments honoring our soldiers and presidents of past, and the sorrow we felt in the Holocaust museum.

I think they will remember the street performer who played the saxophone outside the Hard Rock Café as the kids sang along to The Star Spangled Banner and Jesus Loves Me.

I know I will never forget that.

And I think they will remember the friendships they shared as they experienced a once in a lifetime tour of our nation’s capitol.

I have been around the world in three days and have memories that will last a lifetime. And maybe that’s what it’s all about.

Note: Notice no mention of a forgotten suitcase, a 5 am wake up call or a chaperon gathering late Thursday night. You can ALL thank me later.

Posted by Trish Berg 5:00 AM 1 comments    

Labels: Graphic Publications Column, Joy in the Journey Column, The Bargain Hunter, Wooster Weekly News